Not that I'm literally sick but i think its more of a 'heart' and mind problem. Perhaps i think too much but i seem to have lots of problems on my mind:
~Self~Work
- I don't know what I'll be expecting at the new place and I'm really concerned about the people there. I really pray that i don't meet another CRAZY person!!! And of course i hope i can cope with the work since i will be alone till the Executive comes in...
- I have to wait till next year before i get any pay increment... BUT the good thing is i can still have my pro-rated bonus in December. I'm also lucky that i get to take leave as well as enjoy the company's benefits during probation period
~Self~Study
- I have assignments that i have no idea how to start them and the deadlines are close
- I did some research but i find it hard to get started... As the saying goes, 万事起头难, so I'm feeling stressed!!!
- My school fees are due 15 June and I need to have $3K+ by then (i have enough but the fact that i need to set aside $$ for it means i have to buy less)
~Self~Family/Home
- Somehow the structure of my room with the furniture are not pleasing to my eyes. I feel very frustrated. Perhaps i need a new table and new storage space for the many things that i have. *CPU on the floor and document trays for bills and immediate matters*
- 家家有本难念的经 - Parents not on talking terms. Though it doesn't really bother me but somehow it just affects the mood and atmosphere at home!!
~Self~Love
- Now that i have started school, i see less of him.
- Working so far apart (Northern side & Central), i anticipate our meetings are going to be weekly kind of thing
- However, it's quite fortunate that he bothers to stay up late to wait for me to be home and chats with me about the day's happenings...
- Perhaps only this part of my life is more comforting and will put a smile on my face
~Self~Money
- Too many expenses to worry about:
- Current pay is definitely enough to spend for daily necessities but given that money is needed for school fees, a new mobile phone (My N73 is going crazy and i better get it replaced before it loses it trade in value), savings, my many wants to Beautify myself.... and also money for the future - Housing, marriage... the list just gets on my nerves... (think i need to strike ToTo to solve the problems...hahahaha - Just dreaming!)
Money is a tricky element... 1 thing i cant understand is why there are people who can get rich without putting in much effort while the others slog so hard only to get peanuts... Some people are paid so well from NOWHERE while the others study so hard just to get a better pay...
Why is the world so unfair?? Some Shitty fellows out there are just Damn Lucky!!! (Pardon my language but I'm just feeling unjust)
What do I really want? I really don't know... All i know is, i think I'm unhappy!! Unhappy about the many unknown ahead...Unhappy about the many dreams that have yet to be accomplished...Unhappy that it will take a long while more before some wishes can come true....Unhappy about..... (the list continues) - i think the weather plays a part for making me feel so angry and stifled (I MISS NEW YORK)!!
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