Emotional rattle

I dont know the reason and there is simply no explaination for such feeling. Deep inside, there is just no reason for a smile. Perhaps it's common for ladies to experience such emotional stages but somehow i just feel something's not too right this time.

Could it be due to work, family, relationships, $$ etc... i really dont know! Maybe it's just because im growing horizontally more each day, which is causing me to be depressed! Life sucks!

At work, I certainly dont feel as close to the team as before, since my HK trip and somehow i have this feeling that people start to question my role in the department. Anyway, no point explaining - im convinced anyhow that I should be the most dispensible in the team. I have thoughts to leave this depressing and demoralising place but something's pulling me back - laziness i think...

For $$ - i guess the best song to describe my feelings is "Money Money Money by ABBA"

I work all night,
I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That's too bad

In love - after a long courtship, i dont know if people still call it LOVE or is it just a habit being together. The best love song that describes how a man should love a woman is none other than "Have you ever really loved a woman - Bryan Adams"

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know it deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell herthat she's really wanted
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell herthat it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you - til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...

Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell herthat she's really wanted
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really, really, really, ever loved a woman?
You got to tell me
Just tell me have you ever really,really, really, ever loved a woman?

Im tired... mentally, physically, emotionally... Good night and i hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Updates

This must have been the longest 'delay' in uploading my entries...

Reasons?

• i have been busy
• I am lazy to pen my thoughts and happenings
• Too many things happening to record all of them

Nonethless, since im awake now and Tat is but playing his games in the living room, i shall use his laptop to rattle some thoughts...

It was a HAPPENING December and Q1 of 2009. Now that the official launch is over, i think i can breathe better at work (although there are still NONSENSE surfacing). Anyway, work aside, life is still going quite well.

Went to Hong Kong to visit Disneyland on my birthday and finally took pictures with Mickey Mouse! Thanks to Tat for this wonderful experience and we actually spent every single cent there, coming home with no HK Dollars left + 2 credit card bills...haha. The bulk of the money was spent on gifts, souvenirs and also LAU PO BING...Yummy Yummy...Carried a whole big bag back but still not enough to dstribute.

The only worse thing was to see Mr. B at Disneyland!! Of all people, why him? Anyway, i didnt or rather couldnt call him (as we were in the q). Hope he didnt see us as well...Unlucky!

Went on shopaholic mood recently as well...bought tops, dresses and the more dresses (maxi) from all over. The best was to get a dress and top from Joop. Didnt even spend a single cent - use mainly vouchers...haha.

I simply enjoy shopping but i need to recover (from the trip) before i spend the spree again. Things will go slower now. Hence i have indulge myself in online spree now - cheaper!!

Let's see when my next entry will come...Take care folks.

A Busy Sunday

It's my boss' baby girl Full Month Celebration today...

Made an effort to make up for the lunch affair at Orchard and it made me felt GOOD about myself :)

After lunch, we (KL, PL, WY & YY) headed to Tangs. The girls pampered themselves with benefit products - Dr. Feel Good and Peggy also had a make up session done...

It made them felt really good - just like its product name! I was just surprised how come no one tried to sell me their products when i stood with the girls... *think they feel im pretty enough already....wahahah....anyway, mystery unsolved!*

Then we (YY left after that) went to Far East Plaza - initial intention was to get something for our D & D, but we ended up SHOPPING for other things!

I finally bought the long-flowing dress that i have been searching for. I also bought my Dead sea Hair mask as the current one is finishing soon. WY bought a pretty dress too! She nearly bought another piece that would cost her $79.90 but was stopped by me - Just not worth it!

Then PL & me continued the spree (WY went home for dinner)... Wisma atria, i bought a pair of golden shoes and a pair of blue shorts! *Shall not upload pictures of the things i bought - too lazy*

Soon dinner came and we went home straight - tired and broke!!! Oh yes... on the way to the taxi stand, a pair of new shades for me!!! *Wahaha*

I think consummerism happens when you look good in whatever you try... Then again, Natural Beauty is a GIFT!

~ oopps...did i offend someone?? :) ~

All about Him

Long since i log in but the next few updates are all about him (almost lah)...

17 Oct:
The OCBCs celebrated Tat's Birthday...

We went to Inter-continental Hotel for drinks after a Sumptuous SteamBoat Dinner. We chat, laughed, had some little surprise for Tat, i fell asleep for a while and we went home around 1plus... *Very tired and still had a course to attend the next day*

18 Oct:
It was my cousin's House-warming at Jalan Membina. Rushed down after work and brought along the 'wonder tree' to congratulate them...

Tat went early with my mum and he entertained the kids :)

As the 2 of us were still feeling tired from the day before, we left earlier for the beauty sleep!

Woke up about 9+pm and i prepared "爱心面" for him... all his favourite ingredients - Meat-ball, crab stick, eggs!


Then was back to sleep again...Zzzzz...............

19 Oct:
Breakfast ready for consumption, all thanks to his mum! Nice Nasi Lemak!

Slack, stone, sleep all the way till 6.45pm...

Tat: "Let's go Dozo for our dinner... Standard Chartered Card has 10%."
(Me thinking it's late liao and the next day got to work...but din want to disappoint him since he was so excited)
Me: "Ok lor... you call to see if it's available"
Tat: "OK...... (after a while)....... OK, booking done, 7.45pm."
(I was like Argghhhhh!!!!)

So we rushed to get ready and 7.25pm, we were waiting for our cab! i must admit my enthusiasm came only after i changed and freshened up!!

Dozo @ Valley Point, French & Japanese Mix Cuisine. Ambience is great and here's what we had:




As the birthday boy had no material wants, dinner was on me!!

25 Oct:
Happy Anniversary + NETS Family Day at Pasir Ris

It was a family day event so i went with him to meet his colleagues. We even went for an Expensive Foot Reflexology!! But it was nice....i fell asleep - that's how enjoying it was :)


No luck for lucky draw and after the event ended, we rushed in a cab to catch "新加坡金曲獎" at Singapore Indoor Stadium.



Rush like mad only to realise that the show hasn't started despite it was written 7.30pm on the ticket and we reached there like 8.05pm!!

We left early as we really couldn't appreciate the new batch of singers...sorry!!

Supper @ Kallang Leisure Park - Wang Cafe and then Home Sweet Home!!

26 Oct:
Finally not about him... haha..

After travelling almost the whole island trying to source for work stuff, we ended the disappointing day (all the shops that we visited were closed!) at KTV to vent our frustration!

*The tai-tai wanna-be*

Satisfying session except for the quality of my voice... Could have done better!!

My Death Song

Havent been feeling too well lately... Frequently in deep thoughts and feeling 'heavy'.

Read quite a number of deaths as well... They are not exactly people i know but what really affects me is how fragile a life can be. I guess i cant help but agree with Ms Tee's blog on death - When i die, who will cry for me and will i even know?

In silent, I often ask myself - On the streets one day, perhaps in an accident, if only 1 person gets to live, would that person be me?

Somehow my answers to myself is always 'No'. For simple reasons - When im with my boss, naturally it's because of her baby. When im with people i love, of course again, i would rather sacrifice. I simply cant convince myself for a reason to be living...

I told Tat today that i have been having this bad feeling lately - I feel im dying soon.

What if 1 day i just die like that - Sudden Death...Would I have done what i always wanted to, experience what i always dream of? Would i feel the pain of death?

If only i know the answers...

Recently, i came across Tay's blog: Amongst his entries, there is this particular entry that caught my attention. It's an entry that records the song that he would like to have it played at his funeral.

I played the song on youtube and tears just rolled down my cheeks (naturally)...

Im really touched by it and dedicated to myself, I shall name it the Death Song. When the day comes for me, i hope for the same song to be played... (if only there is someone who will remember)

In the Arms of An Angel

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance

For the break that will make it ok

There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction oh beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

They may be empty and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn

There's vultures and thieves at your back

The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies

That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference, escaping one last time

It's easier to believe

In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness

That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel far away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie

In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

Mid-Atumn Fun @ the Beach!!!

It was a rare Saturday that i did not need to work and so Tat planned for a beach outing with the JI gang. It was also for our friend Jason who will be flying back to States soon...

As usual, it was a morning meet and we headed to Sentosa for our regular Beach Captain Ball!!!

Clever Korina thought it's more appropriate to be wearing lesser since the weather is so HOT!!! And so, Yes indeed, and she got herself BURNT!!!

This explains why she's so badly injured while writing this blog. From the head, neck, shoulders, arms, back of palms and her thighs!!! She's just like a lobster, ready to be served.

*Ouch!!! Painful!!*:( Nonetheless, it was great fun with

• Ms Peg labelled as MVP of the match,
• Tat as the one always hanging in the air, catching all the high balls *that's my hero*,
• Korina who uses her body to defend,
• the 2 Jasons who got themselves injured by each other and
• Uncle Lee was calling for breaks half the time during the match!!!

Our conclusion, it was still better to get ourselves a room in future. We need lots of rest!!! N better bathing facilities!!

And despite a day of sporty activities (Sun-BURNING at Sentosa), we went to Chinese Garden to absorb moonlight...

This year's theme at Chinese Garden is Hello Kitty & the F1 races. We were half way through when it started to rain. Luckily we still managed to catch the fireworks and also take some CUTIE pictures - else it's a waste of $15.


Great fun except for the after effect of having to suffer from the burns now... But i still look forward to the next activity...~this time with EXTRA EXTRA SUN-BLOCK~

Great work Guys...We shall plan the next one and i'll involve some interested parties for the beach :)

~Too many beautiful pictures - visit my friendster or view slide show below :) Enjoy!!~

Phew.... Finally!

Finally with weeks of working hard, working late and struggling with assignments, i managed to have some time now to blog on the Aug Fun!!!

Im badly injured while updating this blog and you'll know why in my next entry!!! Well, let's see what has happened for the past weeks:

23 Aug 08:
We went to catch the Singapore Fireworks Festival at Marina Bay Floating Gallery. Tickets were priced at $25 each but we got ours FREE!! Though it was drizzling but it was romantic...with just the 2 of us. It was like a pre-anniversary for the both of us... Yet another event of fireworks like years before :) *Sweet Sweet*

After fireworks, we stayed to catch the comedian from New York...He was quite funny!!! And we went to Xin Wang for chicken wings before heading home :)

24 Aug 08:

Family Day and so Dinner @ JP (Pizza Hut) - Tat foot the bill!!

Not much elaboration except we found out that Little Clarence love dogs!! He was talking to the dog at the Pet shop... So cute!!

25 Aug 08:

Anniversary Day - We did not take leave nor disappear from work. We had dinner after work at Yaki Yaki Bo... Nice but a little expensive though. But it was once in a blue moon (ermm, actually not exactly). Here's the spread and no doubt it was simple celebration, we were happy!!

Alrite that's all for the month of Aug and you shall soon see why im badly injured while writing this...